Spectrum Essentials Organic Coconut Oil, Unrefined, 15 Ounce (Disgusting)

This is bad. It's gross and weird and yellow and smells like someone's moist step-uncle. Idk wtf Spectrum ~Essentials~ is doing, but they need to not do it anymore. 

This cost me like...seven bux and some change on Amazon, and I should've known. First of all...any coconut oil I've gotten in plastic, has been a little off. They often always have crunchy, gritty bits. But plastic is cheaper than the ones that come in glass, obviously, so I'd just shrug like fine this is the price I have to pay for being cheap and poor and wanting to die all the time always. 

But this particular version from Spectrum went too far with the nastiness. I always read reviews after I buy shit, which is so dumb but hey that's me, but after I did I immediately regretted my buying choice because mad comments were like "...this is gross", or "...why is it yellow?". But I like to ignore comments because I feel people in general are very extra and just be doing the most, so a lot of times negative comments are exaggerated. NOT IN THIS CASE. Def do not recommend buying this coconut oil, eventho it's mad cheap. It's mad cheap for a reason. It smells weird, is gritty, and is yellow. Something is very wrong and bad.

New Chapter Coenzyme B Food, Vitamin B Complex

I really liked this, but it's not cost-effective for me (ie: I'm poor help). For a 15 day supply it cost me fifteen bucks. A dollar a day, fam? Ionoboutalladat. I initially thought it was a thirty day supply when purchasing off amazon. It has 30 tabs, but because I wanted to be a dummy and not check serving size or suggested use, I didn't realize it's a two tabs a day sort of deal. Though...you could prob get away with just taking one a day. Like the B12 in this is 2,000% daily value. So take one a day and you're getting a thousand percent apparently lol so that seems pretty good? But me, I just like to do what the directions say. So I took two a day.

This makes your pee green. This is one of--This is like the main reason I really liked this lol. At first I got scared like what the fuck do I have leprosy why is my pee like nuclear-colored. But then I remembered, oh, I'm taking these weird ass vitamins. It has 155 mg of spinach powder, and 96 mg of organic blueberry powder per serving, so I guess either one or both of those things are to blame. I liked having green pee because it made me think these were ~working~? Though possibly I could have just been pissing my dollar a day into the toilet and that's just so great :') 

Other shit this has:

-Thiamin (333% daily value)

-Riboflavin (529%)

-Niacin (225%)

-Vitamin B6 (450%)

-Folate (100%)

-Biotin (100%)

-Pantothenic Acid (450%)

It says that all those are from "culture media". Idk wtf that means, but it sounds fancy and like the vitamins are more....better? Lol like there's more, and it absorbs into your human body better than...other vitamins? Man, idk. 

Then they have extra shit, like I mentioned the spinach and blueberry powders, and also something called a Stress Response Blend with like ginseng, chamomile, hawthorn, etc. 132mgs of Organic Lecithin (idk), some shit called Immune Support Blend, with elderberry extract and some other shit, Organic Turmeric, and Ginger. 

So there's a lot going on, but when I read it had all this shit I got excited. It just sounded good like I don't even know what the fuck Lecithin is or does. Lemme look it up right quick. Back! lol smh I got IMMEDIATELY ANNOYED doing my nanosecond search of lecithin but apparently it helps with high cholesterol and possibly neurological disorders? The bottle does claim it has nervous system support, so sure!! 

Anyway, I really like this and want to take it more but I'm poor and there was a cute poem for you ;)

I think I just gotta prioritize and save money to buy expensive vitamins I think are cool instead of, like, hot dogs and ill-fitting clothes from China. No but most of my shitty money goes towards terrible food? And it's like what's the point of taking vitamins if you're not assisting it with a good diet? But don't ever judge me like this again who the hell do you think you are?? Anyway, I found some way cheaper vitamins on Thrive Market, so imma use those up and if I like them stay with them? Idk, there's no way those are gonna give me green pee :( That's all I really want out of life, for my pee to look like Chernobyl :/

Gross Quick Chek Food

I gotta stop buying food from Quick Chek. I'm trying to health myself and eating food from a gas station is not it. And like it could be worse, but how is me saying "it could be worse" in any way okay? Like they have okayish salads?? I like their salads sigh and it's the only place around me within walking distance where I can just pop in and order a "fresh" salad. Even though it's at a gas station :/ Also the salads aren't even totally fresh?? Like how cum the avocado is always rubbery??? Hmm?? 

But the salads are basically the only okayish maybe thing. And this turkey sandwich I've ordered a bunch of times on wheat bread. That seemed pretty legit. BUT NOTHING ELSE. 

So gross food I've recently ordered from here because I'm heated I waited like twenty minutes for them to "cook" me six soggy ass basically hash browns today:

-"Spuds", ie: soggy hashbrowns.

HUGE REGRET. When I saw the choice "spuds" in the snack section on the menu, for some reason I was imagining little potato balls or something. And my bitch ass got excited. I waited a million years for Quick Chek to make what are apparently tiny hash brown circles??? And they weren't even crispy, OR FRESH. They were soggy and I was upset? I paid under two bux for them so fine, but you can get like two perfectly good and crispy ass actually hashbrown sized hashbrowns at McDonald's...like...who do you think you are being so ugly and demonic?? I'm not going back here lol this is the last straw I'm upset

-"Supreme Pizza Rolls" or some shit

Yo, these are literally just Tostinos pizza rolls. They're buggin'. Again, seeing it posted on the menu, for some reason I was imagining a little ball but pizza. Is it just my dumb mind making shit up? Yes. But Quick Chek is so ugly for this. They charge like two dollars for like six "rolls". Lmao. You can buy like a whole bag of these shits at the grocery store for that LIKE YOU ARE DISGUSTING. Or am I disgusting for buying them? I still want my money back for this, this shit was soggy af. 

-Hot Dog

Lol, the hot dog wasn't actually that bad. And like, it was a hot dog. Hot Dogs are just Bad Food. What are they even made of - nitrates and type 3 diabetes?? So like I was in the wrong from jump even ordering one. I got red onions and tomato and mustard on mine. Please don't ask me why I got tomato. I just love tomato... Their tomato was not...it was lookin' a little pale. I gotta stop ordering "fresh food" from here. It's so...it's so gross. Sigh, so many regrets. 

I wanted to go back to grease for my natural hair,

because grease is cheap. For a reason, I guess. Like the main ingredient is Petrolatum ie Petroleum. And then mineral oil. I feel like sometimes people try to promote that either of these things is okay? I just think they're really not. At the very best, they're non-moisturizing. For my kinky, coarse ass hair that's literally my main goal, to moisturize my hair. Petroleum and Mineral Oil don't add moisture in any way whatsoever. The best they do is seal in moisture. But...not really? Idk science, but I feel it just acts as a coating, instead of really sealing the moisture in, you know? It like just covers the moisture layer but doesn't help it to sink in. Then when the grease dries or wears off or whatever the moisture layer immediately evaporates and your hair is left dry and crispy as fuck.

I was using this gross, bacon-smelling product by Bronner Brothers called Pine Tar Super Gro. I kind of really liked it for a small minute because I thought it was doing a good job of sealing my hair? But really no, it was just sitting on the top of my hair and not helping to seal anything. I feel with ~~natural~~, less gross sealing oils like castor (which I use) or whatever, it like binds with the moisture layer. Like you get your hair wet, add conditioner or whatever and seal with an oil that will actually kind of sink the moisture in with the cuticle. Where as with petroleum, which I think they like scrape off the bottoms of boats or some shit, NO JOKE, it just sits there and doesn't help sink in or seal shit.

My dumb mind refused to really acknowledge how worthless grease is for hair for a while, because it is, like I said, pretty cheap. I had stopped using the Pine Tar after I finished the jar. Like I just never bought it again because it smelled bad and left a lot of residue on my hair. But then dummy me a handful of months ago tried to get some grease again. And looking at the package I am only just now realizing it is the exact same product, sans Pine Tar. I just got the regular Super Gro, I guess? ~~With Vitamin E~~. I tried to do some twist outs or whatever with this and it left my hair a dry, residued-up ass mess. Why. I just KEEP reading and seeing things from natural bitches saying they've gone back to grease. BUT HOW? It's trash. Are they lying? Are they being sponsored by Grease?? Or maybe I just used the wrong grease. But grease is grease is grease, you know? I can't imagine using Indian Hemp or that weird papaya shit at the dollar store is going to be any different. Maybe grease ~works~ for certain hair types. My hair is super dry and kinky-coarse, so... Also fine. Maybe it works for looser hair, or thicker?? Idk, BUT NOT FOR ME. And even if it does work for others...it's still shit product. It's garbage. Petroleum is not good???? Idk, I'm tired. Back to castor oil.

Silk Nutchello Rich Dark Chocolate + Walnuts

I got to try this Nutchello shit via Crowdtap a while back. I was excited initially because I've been really into trying all these nut milks (why)??? Like trying reg nut milks like almond and cashew (bitch, disgusting) annnnnd idk. I've been having a primarily terrible time, but also fun. It's fun for me sometimes to have a bad time. Like nut milks are gross and I've yet to find one that doesn't taste like dirty semen water mixed with the ugly emo sadness of Edgar Allan Poe, and regret. 

But yet!...my search continues. Because these nut milks have a lot of benefits, or like vitamins and shit that are not found in regular milk? I'm a regular milk-drinker (sue me!!) and always have been. Like when I was kid I would just chug down whole glasses like some wild animal?? Or not like a wild animal because who in the jungle or mountains has a glass? I can see like a hippopotamus having a glass...or like a really snobby crocodile. Def a bougie mountain lion named like Fredriquè, but everyone calls him Freddie just to piss him off. Anyway why am i allowed to live :') 

Anyway I love milk! But it's kind of fucked up and not okay maybe? Lol idk. I'm still drinking it, but I kind of want to not?? But I'm not finding some healthy bitch equivalent and it's annoying me. So anyway I'm lowkey giving up, while kind of still half-assedly trying these nut shits out. What am I doing with my life...

So anyway!! I got to try Nutchello Dark Chocolate & Walnuts for free which was cool. Like would I have bought this with my own severely lacking coins? Idk. It wasn't even that much...like 2.99 for 48oz??? So not so bad. I think the price used to be higher but lol aint no1 buying this weird shit.

Okay so Silk is really reaching with their little ~*~Benefits~*~ section on their website. How are benefits 90 calories and 14 g of sugar per serving? Like I guess? And then saying no cholesterol and satch fat? Like congrats?? Am I just like an entitled millennial? Like who cares? Also these aren't even really great benefits? Like 14g of sugar is a lot like what are you talking about. But I guess no cholest and stach fat but tbh I don't think either of those things are bad so again who cares? Also they mention some other shit like no dairy, lactose blah. Again, congrats don't care. Yada yada no gmos. Don't care again. No artifish flaves or funny business. Well goddamn, you've got a winner here!! I'm a huge douche, but come on, no one cares. 

Actual benefits to point out would be, i don't knowwwww, the vitamins??????? Just a thought. I was amped on this because it has Riboflavin, Calcium, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12!, Zinc, A, and Iron. Like cool. Not a huge amount of all of those like Iron or whatever, but still, pretty cool. 

But then you get to ingredients and I want to scream because Silk was talking all that shit about ~~no funny business~~ but bitch what is "Natural Flavor"??? YOU TRIED IT. What is that? Like bye. And yo...........whatthefuck is Locust Bean Gum??? Kinda don't want to know. Likkkkkkkkkkkkkke I'm seeing locust......which is bad enuff, but then you talking bout sum bean gum. Hmmmmmmm...okaaaaaay. LIKE OKAY!!!! 

So whatever? Does this taste good, like is anyone as pedantic and annoying as me about some damn ingredients and claims and shit? Like does walnut cum water mixed with dark choco taste good? Good enough, I guess? If you like dark choco this is a pretty good like milk chocolate...sub? Actually...it's lowkey disgusting lol. But that could just be me and my innate retching whenever nut milk enters my mouth. Like it's just always...such a fucking weird consistency. But I guess when you're milking a nut...things are gonna get pretty weird. Like this is alright. I only ever get a tiny bit when I drink it lol like you can't have a whole glass of this mess. Maybe with some ice? I'm not a huge ice person so I just pour it in a cup as is. Half gross, half okayish. Good thing I love dark chocolate. 

Now, would I pay for this mess with my actual money dollars? Probably not... It kinda makes me want to just look for a dark chocolate chocolate milk, sigh. Or buy that Organic Valley Dark C Protein Drink that's always out of stock. Drinking this mess is not becoming a hobby for me. However I did see online that someone used this to make ice cream? If I had any components to make fucking ice cream, I would totally buy this just for that, because it'd prob taste pretty good and be healthyish. But this lowkey seems like some shit they're taking off shelves pretty soon so I won't be making any future plans to be doing that. Also I'm lazy and rather just buy ice cream already made? Like who makes ice cream? Ben & Jerry, I guess. But those are established weird dudes. Like do they live together on a barn? I have no idea, I just imagine them as two old bears who live on a barn and they have a bunch of cows and sit around listening to psychedelic music all day while burning sage and being pretty cool and nice dudes. Don't ruin my fantasy! 

My 1st Birchbox

I am uhbsessed with subscription boxes, but bitch I can barely afford to steal Netflix, so subscribing to all these unnecessary, rich people gift-a-months is not logical or ideal. But I got some ~deal~ on a get paid to site that was basically like Okay subscribe to this and we'll give you nine dollars back. So ultimately I ended up paying like a dollar and some change for my first box. Which, thank god??

So I got my box and it looked like this

I can't tell if ten dollars a month for samples is...okay, or kind of dumb? Like on one hand it's cool to be able to get introduced to shit that maybe you wouldn't ordinarily...or like there's SO MUCH product out there that it can be overwhelming? So it's cool to have a service that's like HERE'S SOME THINGS, TRY THEM. And sometimes they give you full-size shit and that's cool, but ultimately I didn't know how I felt about Birchbox in particular, for me.

I def am a product...not junkie. Like not full blown product crackhead, but tbh that's prob only cuz I'm poor af. Like I can't just be buying shit all the time or really any time, but bet if I had a good amount of disposable income I'd be disposing all that shit on products. Def if I ever become flush I am subscribing to all sorts of subscription boxes, just...maybe ones more tailored to me. Like ones geared toward kinky haired bitches, or black chicks, or maybe there's a subscription box for korean skin care products, or one that has like ALL GLITTER SHIT. I def want any and all subscription food boxes (those are like A MILLION DOLLARS), well except for the snack ones, I guess I can start w/ the snack ones, annnnd also I want the vegan beauty sub boxes. Birchbox seems more for like Gwyneth Paltrows in-training and that's not my steez. So I cancelled my account after my first box but lol my dumb ass got another account because I got another ~deal~ so I'm getting another box sigh and kill me dot com. But anyway I guess I can talk about the trash they threw in my box and if I liked it or whatever. 

-Beauty Protector Protect & Oil

It's the tiny little glass vial in the box, orangey oil. Iono, this some white ppl shit. I did use it once when I got my hair wet. I just rubbed some on there. Noticed nothing. 

-BioRepublic Skincare Aloe Rescue Revitalizing Fiber Mask

This was my first time using a sheet mask and it was gross and weird, but I loved it. It took a minute for me to figure out how to unwrap the shit, but once I got it on my face it felt all cool and good and I was like okay yaas. Left it on for about fifteen min, took it off, rubbed the aloe shit into my face, applied argan and I was good to go. Felt VERY REFRESHED after using this. Mask says it has vitamin e and phytocollagen and shit and that all sounds good to me. I'm def bout to start getting into sheet masks. 

-Davroe Smooth Senses Anti-Frizz Shampoo & Conditioner

Little sample sizes. I am interested in using this but have yet to, so nothing to report. 

-SheaMoisture Weightless Shit 

Some Creme Rinse and some Other Shit. I am mostly anti-Shea Moisture, I think their products are shit, at least for my kinky ass hair. I'll prob at least try this though, but I have no expectations. Or, I do but they're bad :')

ohhhh also, I feel Birchbox kinda just threw this SheaMoisture shit in here last minute, to ~*~customize~*~ my box once they realized I was black? Lol because they provided a little card in the box that lists all the products and SheaMoisture is not listed I AM TRULY SCREAMING TO DEATH

-Manna Kadar Cosmetics, sample from their The Day Dream Palette 

LOVE the little glittery shadow they provided. Reading my product card, I only just now realized it's an eyeshadow lol I'd been just swiping it on my cheeks as a highlighter of sorts. I love it, it's super cute and glowy and kind of pink. Def want to get into Manna Kadar and I'm not even a huge makeup bitch.

-Marcelle Hydra-C 24H Energizing Hydrating Gel

Haven't used this yet but they're telling me this has green tea, cucumber extracts, and vitamins c and e, which I only just now realized so it's making me want to use it. I have oily skin so it should prob work well? We'll see!  

-Eyeko Liquid Eyeliner

Cool, like a little marker. Blackity black black. 

So that's all the shit. Some of it was cool, and I do have some new products I want to try more of and continue using but I am not wholly excited about Birchbox. However I am excited about trying other, better boxes, and thus, the silver lining. Anyway what first world problem shit is this??? 

One of the best things I've ever done for my feet

was soak them in a Magnesium Chloride foot bath every day for about a month. 

I initially bought this bag 

with the intention of internally consuming it. I'm getting into teeth remineralization, and this mineral? vitamin??? was suggested as an Essential™. 

I don't know how people drink this shit, it tastes like death. And I know people say that a lot about like shitty hotdogs, or spoiled papayas or whatever, but this legit tasted like I was going to die. You have to take like a tablespoon of this a day, I think? The bag says "shot" and I think I translated it and they said shot means tablespoon. So I dumped a tablespoon of this crystalized devil's cum into a glass of water and tried to take one single sip of it and immediately decided I was going to that cliff Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood were dangling from in The Good Son and I was going to karate kick hi-yah my ass right the fuck off of it. I wanted to be dead. 

It tasted SO BAD. So bad. But I was committed to taking the shit because I spent like twenty dollars on the bag. I was like I'm going to use this. So I decided to try taking it all at once in a little bit of water. Because initially I had poured it in like a whole glass or bottle water full, creating more haunting magnesium chloride demon juice for me to drink? Yeah, no. So I'd pour a tablespoon's worth into a cup and then cover that bit with water just barely enough for it to dissolve. Then I knocked it back. Actually for that little bit it'd take me two "knock-backs". It was still a no. This doesn't just taste bad, it's like you can feel how bad it is. It just causes this sickening reaction in your whole body. I shudder just thinking about it. It's like it makes you feel like you 1. want to vomit 2. are drowning 3. and also being electrocuted, because you're 4. being fucked in the ass with a telephone pole. Alladat, no exaggeration (a little exaggeration). 

My last trick to get this fucking lobotomy juice down was I'd make my little mix of water and the tablescoop, right? But I'd take a hard sip of the most acid-tasting orange juice I could get before it. Then I'd drink the orange immediately after. I had to do it really fast to cut down as much as possible on the horrid sting. Even still, it was just too painful, so I out of nowhere just decided to soak my feet in it. In think I read about people doing magnesium foot soaks, but they used flakes, not the little crystal powder that I had. But I was like, is it really that serious? What was the big difference between the powder and flakes besides their structure? But maybe structure is important in terms of how the mag gets distributed and in what way it's being used?? Idk. 

But I used my crystal powder shit as a foot bath, anyway. And btw I have also used flakes. I bought a huge tub for like $17, lasted me about a week smh. The bag lasted like a month with me just scooping a tablespoon into hot water. I'd add baking soda occasionally for ~alkalizing~. 

Uhhhh I really liked doing this, and need to get back. I feel this regimen of soaking in the mag water improved, at the very least, the state of my feet. I walk a lot, so my soles are kind of hard, and initially I had these rough ass callouses. Um, don't have them anymore??? The only thing that's remained is occasional hardness on I guess the outside of my heel, annnnnnnnd like a rough bit on the side of my right foot. BUT IF I FUCKING EVER GET BACK TO IT!! 

Since I ran out I've just been taking my sweet ass time ordering another bag. But imma get another and get my feet buttery af. Slop some lanolin or some shit on there after my foot soak OMG. 

In terms of health benefits, I have no real idea. I only took this for a month. When I took it internally the only thing I noticed was it giving me explosive diarrhea. Soaking my feet in it...I have no idea what ~healthy~ shit it did. Like I said, my main interest was taking this for tooth remineralization. I have some cavities I want to ~hippie heal~. I have like two cavitied-up molars in the back that seem...salvageable, so I'm on my journey to revert or repair them or whatever. Magnesium chl was bandied about as a main thing you needed to become accustomed with. I think if I get back to daily baths and doing it for a long time, at least six months, I will maybe see some recovery, especially along with the iodine I take (maybe??), and the B Vitamins. And also imma add a bunch of otra shit. But I do look @ my molars a lot and they don't seem to have progressed towards worsening, and also sometimes I would look at them while doing the foot baths and go "huh". Or was I projecting? Maybe. But also maybe if I get more consistent with this I'll be going huh but in caps so HUH. 

We'll see! lol no1 reads this blog. thank g*d, tbh.

P.S. Oh, but if anyone DOES read this blog (which they don't) and are looking for an inexpensive foot bath tub, I just bought this dish tray basin thing at the Dollar Store, and it's held up. Only issue is it's pretty small and I wear a size goddamn 10. But for any normal-footed hoes, that should work well.