This was lowkey gross and I don't know why I bought it. I need to stop buying these coconut watery type drinks because they only ever taste like semen juice with some stevia sprinkled in it. How do I know what semen juice tastes like? I DON'T! I also don't know what...stevia tastes like either. These ~natural~ artificial sugars are gross af, tho, right? Agave is NASTY! Well, to be fair, I typically only put sugar/sweetener in my coffee. And I drink brolic ass espresso. Even proper cane sugar don't taste good in that...fucking tincture. That shit scalps the hair off your back, so really any sort of sweetness added to that mess is almost immediately rejected. Those weak ass, ~from plants :D!"~ type sugars aren't going to cut it. But why they so chemically-tasting, tho? Is that just my severely damaged from so much processed trash taste buds? They mad nasty... Anyway what was I talking about. I feel like...I was doing...something...
Oh! I was saying how coconut water type items usually taste like semen juice (NEVER TASTED THANK U!!) (maybe someday sigh) (wtf...), andddd stevia. They gross. I haven't had a ton of these drinks, tho, but I feel like the ultimate palate they are going for I am against. There's just something inappropriately thick about the waters and juices, right? The amount of thickness is not proportional to the weak ass flavor. Something is off. This Bai mess was okay. I am actually interested in trying the other ones? But like, coconut and lime? And omg i think the packaging on the bottle made a reference to that Tyga song? Girl wyd...
So deduct major points from Bai for that. If Bai was a Hogwarts Haus they would str8-up be Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff is like the worst house you can be sorted into. Yes, worse than Ravenclaw! At least Ravenclaw is a cool name! But you know what is lowkey the worst house? Gryffindor, right? Cuz uh Harry and 'em. They mad, like, obnoxious and self-righteous. And it's ~all about them~ when it should really be all about Slytherin. Why the fuck would you make a book about magical wizards and shit and focus on the "good kids"? J. K. Rowling, bye!
I'm screaming what sort of ~product review~ is this? Why do I have this blog. Why do i have lungs and a heart and veins and blood sludging thru them? Girl idk. But I am a solid TEAM NO concerning the lime and coconut mix. I could see it being good in like a fresh drink. Like if I went to Jamaica or wherever and they cracked open a coconut right in front of me and then squeezed a lime into the milk, that maybe would taste good. Like especially if the coconut-cracker uses like a machete and just chops that shit open right in front of me and my entire life flashes before my eyes and I remember that time I called my second grade teacher "mom" and she looked at me like "Bitch, no." That would be a good drink, maybe. But you can't bottle that experience, sorry, Bai. Maybe your other drinks are good? Lol prob not. They all look like semen elixirs. I am not at that point in my life yet where I am straight up just taking shots of cum water. Not yet, but soon.
Someone...please help me.
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