These are actually quite basic? I've tried the Chicken, Cilantro & Lime Burrito, the Cheddar & Bean, and the Steak & Cheese. Probably the least-disappointing was the Chicken, Cilantro & Lime. I got excited as hell for some reason when I saw these in CVS. Prob cuz they said "organic". I am such a sucker for fucking buzz words. I don't even inherently understand the value of "organic". I guess...less chemically? But we're all gonna die so who cares? I mean, me. I care. For what reason I'm not sure, but if I'm gonna be slurping down a frozen burrito, I want to feel less like I am just funneling cancer and disease into my colon. So, organic! I mean, am I still going to get like diabetes or whatever for having frozen burritos, organic or otherwise, make up fifty percent of my diet? Yes, and so what?????
But anyway (please kill me), these cost $2.99 a pop at CVS. I forget what it's called, but there's this like foot-long frozen burrito they sell at the dollar store. The package is purple and it says something like PROTEIN POWER SCHLONG!! or something like that, and it's...bean and beef I think. This is a real...shit producer. It's 710 calories per serving, which is one whole burrrrrito. My only issue with buying this particular frozen burrito...well, maybe there's more than one ish. First: it makes my stomach hurt. In that way...where you're in public and suddenly your gut just crunches in and you have to shit right then and there. And no you aren't going to make it to the bathroom. That's how these seven pound burritos be turning up in my stomach. Also one of the main ingredients is...soybean oil. I just have this major aversion to soy and soybean and alladat. Are soy and soybean even a part of the same fam? Well bitch, they both have soy in the name, so!!!
I am a cheap, broke, ugly ass bitch lol. I want to pay the least amount of money. And I want the most food I can get for the least amount of money. I am not about this Red's ~~ALL NATURAL~~ burritos life. If they tasted amazing, which they do not, I would consider getting a sugar daddy so he could buy these for me all the time or something like that. But these dusty ass Red's burritos do not inspire me to go out and suck some crumbling apart ass dick to get some coins so I can afford to buy them. The nasty ass, butt-ripping burritos at the dollar store, which only cost a dollar, are what I will continue to stick to. They sell José Taco or whatever that brand is there, too. And you can get the Steak and Cheese ones! What is Red's doing that they think they can charge me three dollars per burrito? Oh, it's ~organic~. Well, sweetie:), I guess it organically tastes like shit, so yes, success.
Nah these are alright. Actually, no. They are pretty gross. The cheddar and bean one was of particular offense to my senses. But like I said up there before getting distracted from expounding, the chicken and cilantro whatever was alright. I took too long to eat it after microwaving it, though, so it was kind of cold and hard? But in its solid cold hardness, I managed to find some crumbs of enjoyment, so imagine what that mess tastes like warm! I guess good job on that one? I see a burrito on the website that says it has braised chicken, sweet potato and quinoa and I...want it :/ I know it tastes like cardboard! I know it! But I want it. Gimme that burrito, Red's! I'm sorry for talking shit please give me that nasty sounding shit right this minute!
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