I have...I still don't even know my hair type. I'm a ~natural~, with afro hair. Type 4...something. I always say 4c, but...I don't actually know lol. Cuz I be looking at the charts and graphs and shit, right? But I be feelin' like none of the patterns match my hair? And like I have curls and zigzags? And I for sure have different textures. Wiry, kinky, coily, straight wtf. And it's like all mixed up. My shit is just...a mess. I mean, I love it. It's mad wild and that's my musty ass aesthetic, I guess. Or, it suits me more than when I was relaxed and trying to assimilate aka look "normal". My body was rejecting that shit like lol no girl ur dirty, weird and greasy, stop the tomfoolery. Not that having natural hair or an afro makes you dirty or greasy, but if you are dirty and/or greasy (ie: me), having "crazy" hair goes with that template better than like straw-straight "relaxed" hair, which is anything but relaxed. If the hair on the back of your neck be pterodactyl screeching out of your ponytail, then maybe the relaxer life is not for you.
The relaxer life was not for me!! So I'm a natural hoe now. I've been proper natural since 2013, I think. I did THE BIG CHOP like a million times before the last one actually
stuck. It seems like it's been longer, but three years is a long ass time to be dealing with crazy ass hair. And I'm calling it crazy only because I never really dealt with my hair growing up. My hair was not processed when I was a little kid. My mom would either braid it, or press it. But getting my hair pressed took for e v e r. Eventually my mom took me and my wild ass head to the hairdresser's. They would deal with me now. Also, it was just a thing you did if you had a black daughter. My mom is black but she doesn't have hair like mine. She has white people hair, so she wasn't really tryna deal with the mess I had going on. I mean, she did, but it was a lot I guess. Me having a relaxer made things easier.
So I never really dealt with my hair myself. I would barely comb it in between hair salon appointments lol, so it was lit in a not lit way when I started doing my own hair. This was around...college? I was no longer going to the salon, so I started doing my own perms. lol. That ended well.
~Going natural~ was mad awkward. I was like "lol......what do I do with this shit?". I guess I started reading shit online? I weirdly never watched youtube videos. I do now, but at the beginning of my ~journey~, the most I'd do was skim some articles. I think I didn't want it to be...a journey. I legit just got tired of relaxing my hair and was like fuck it. Also I have trichotillomania, so a lot of it was shaving all my hair off to see if I could stop pulling it out. I had failed before, so I wasn't really trying to get too into...the idea of even having hair, let alone learning how to style and care for it. I just...wanted to stop having bald spots. But I happily ended up stumbling upon...some article where a woman was talking about having trich and she said shaving all her hair off and then getting really into caring for it and doing all these styles on her short hair distracted her from pulling it out. Then after that I stumbled upon an article about bantu knots. So those two things mixed together...started getting me into my hair and growing it and caring for it and not pulling it out so much.
Now three years later I have an entire wild animal on my head. I have that mysterious beast from that one episode of Martin on my head. It's lit mostly, but sometimes I be like...killllll meeeeeeeeeeeee. Like, why is there always lint and like bugs and shit in my hair? Why is it so...crunchy sometimes? Why does my scalp refuse to stop itching? Why won't this shit stay moisturized?? It's a lot on a daily basis. I just be looking at my hair sometimes like "Can you...not?".
I have wayyyy less...complaints and confusion now than I did some years ago, but I still struggle a lot with...keeping it...fed, hydrated. My shit is so dry all the time and I want to die:')? And yes I drink water, so I don't think it's that. Though possibly I have candida so maybe that makes it drier. But I could just have dry, crispy ass hair. Like, that's just what the wildebeest atop my scalp is going for: sahara desert realness. Get into it, ho.
Mmmm maybe later. Because I recently found two possibly super-amazing items that are hydrating THE SHIT out of my mess: Aussie Total Miracle Collection 7-in-1 Conditioner, and Originals by Africa's Best Hair Mayonnaise. Wait but why is the hair mayo called something else on Amazon sigh did I accidentally buy a knock-off of a knock-off?? That is so me...
Anyway!, I've only used the hair mayo once. But I was immediately in love. I didn't even use it properly, so that's how I know it's legit shit. I deep conned my hair before shampooing, which is supposed to be a major no but I was like whatever. Also the shampoo I planned to use after is really gentle. It's Renpure Originals Argan Oil Luxurious Shampoo. It has no sulfates and is very argan-y, so I felt it wasn't going to strip away all the good the hair mayo did. Which...was a lot of good. It made my shit sooooo like, buttery. I had my hair in these twists when I deep-conned, so idk if that makes a difference, but probably most 4c naturals will twist their hair when deep conditioning anyway. I doubt too many people are just slapping the conditioner on (lol i do this all the time what am i talking about).
I kept the conditioner in for like an hour, maybe? Had a shower cap on and then a towel over that. I realllly want one of those thermal heating caps...or a steamer or something, but I'm poor. Which is fun! Like I could barely afford this conditioner haha i want to die:') But this shit is the truth. I don't know if my hair is protein-sensitive or whatever, though. I feel like it is? Like anytime I put coconut oil in it it gets mad...crunchy or something, and I read if your hair reacts negatively to coconut oil it's because you're protein sensitive. But wouldn't my hair react bad to hair mayo, too? Idk bitch, I don't know science! I just know my hair sucked this shit right up and I am Elizabeth Taylor now!!
I had a similar happy as hell reaction to the Aussie 7-in-1. I use this as a leave-in conditioner. I just slop the shit on my head after shampooing and then seal with some oil (castor or walnut), but I almost feel like I don't even need to seal with oil (I'm not not going to tho) when I use the Aussie. There's just...something about it that makes me feel like I can just use that and be fine. I'm not taking any chances tho lol I am not as insane now as I was when I first went natural. I am never not sealing my hair again (done it before and bye @ me!!). But the Aussie really soaks into my hair and makes it all mushy the way I like. It has like aloe and other cool botanicals or whatever shit in it. I am always using this as a leave-in from now on. Loljk imma still be unnecessarily experimenting with shit eventho I know what works. There's definitely a completely perfect product out there, and I will find it. Or die trying. Or die. Hopefully. Please. Please.
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