I got a free tub of this via Crowdtap and was lowkey souped, like yaaaas free coffee. But I was also weary because I primarily drink espresso. Which is...interesting considering I don't have a fucking espresso machine or french press or any of that in which you are properly supposed to make espresso. I just use this cheap $14 automatic drip or whatever I got from Kmart? I definitely do not think I am making my espresso properly with this cheap shit but whatever it's good enough for me. All this is to say that I'm certain I've become immune to regular coffee, now that I almost exclusively drink this espresso sludge I've been cranking out. The last tub of regular coffee I bought was from Maxwell House, I think, and its limpness offended me. So idk why I got souped for Folgers. Especially over some shit designed for people who get upset tummies when they drink coffee. Do I get an upset, rumbly gut when I drink coffee? YES. But I have accepted that's what's supposed to happen? How else will you produce a morning poo?? So I should've known from jump this Folgers Simply Smooth was gon' be some mess. A coffee with the express purpose of not helping me shit in the morning? OH OKAY!
I see...how this beverage is gentle on your stomach. You don't drink it because it tastes like actual human piss, so your stomach remains unrumbled. Ingenious idea, Folgers!!!!! AND HOW DO I KNOW WHAT ACTUAL MAN-ANIMAL URINATION JUICE TASTES LIKE? TAKE A WILD GUESS!!!!

No comments:
Post a Comment