So like any unhinged lunatic, I've diagnosed myself with candida overgrowth. Like is not literally everyone who has ~~candida overgrowth~~ self-diagnosed? I've seen like pics of people's tongues who have it...and them shits look like they growin' bread in they mouth. My tongue doesn't look like a yeast infection but in my mouth persay, but it's not like pink?? Idk if I just don't drink enough water or...?? Like I consume a lot of sugar? Which, yikes. And then my readings on candida tell me it feeds on sugar??? And possb my sugar cravings are born from this unknowable beast taking over my body??? Also I had eczema once???! So, idk. For now I've decided I have candida, and if I don't...I at least have an addiction to sugar I deeply want to kick because I feel very middle-class with my sugar addiction and I'm base over it. So off I go on my mission to kill my demons by eating healthy and taking unpronounceable vitamins and herbs I find on amazon.com.
I read about pau d'arco on some chick's blog. She seems to be battling candida and trying all these different remedies. The one thing she says that controls candida is pau d'arco. But she specifically said tea. So I went to amazon to find the tea but got side-tracked by my discovery that this shit came in pill form. I'd much rather take a capsule than drink a tea because most of these herbal teas be mad...like...gross? Lol, like...not good-tasting. I'm a prissy bitch, I can't drink some shit that don't taste good, and reading up on the pau d'arco tea, they were saying it tastes like licorice?? Uhmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Like, licorice tastes good as a candy...but that shit sounds like it'd be gross af as a tea? And I started getting 'nam flashbacks to my time with cinnamon tea *gags*. Good in candy and shit with mad sugar, but absolutely R E V O L T I N G as a drink. So the capsule sounded better, HOWEVER the census seemed to be that the tea worked more efficiently????? But then I read that getting the specific inner-bark capsules would be just as potent??
GIRL IDK!! HELP!!! I've been taking the maximum dosage, which is 4 caps, three times a day. I've been doing this for about...two weeks??? So it's probably WAY too early to be ~reviewing~ it...but idk. It might be doing something? Like lowkey it feels like it's exorcising...stuff? Which I don't...know how to explain. Part of me wants to go more intense and take it with the tea, which I think my pussy ass is going to do, I guess? Also I think I might want to throw some oregano oil in the mix and really fuck my shit up lol. Idk. This MIGHT be doing something, but......like I said...I self-diagnosed??? So idek what I'm trying to "cure", but I think I want to take these for a while. Tbh, I feel like I'm becoming less-interested in sugar? Is that in my head? Like I'm only doing two teaspoons in my coffee now which is still like...more than zero, which is where I want to be. I wonder if this is from the pau d'arco. I think imma keep taking this shit and also revising my diet. I just bought like two pounds of quinoa on discount lol turn up. Uhhh and Farmer's Market season is here so I'm gonna be gunning for buying the most intense fruits/vegs and see what occurs. Like, I really want a pink tongue. I wish I had...loftier goals??? But health = success. For me. Sigh, I wish I could go back to when like fur coats and a Jaguar equaled success. But who am I - Sean Pee Diddy Combover? No, and thank goodness.
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